one time me and my friends were really high waiting at a stop sign and after like ten minutes he turns to me and he’s like “this is the longest stop sign ever”
saying ‘since you support gay marriage you must be gay’ is like saying ‘since you support obama you must be obama’
we are all obama
And I swear in that moment we were Obama
We accept the Obama we think we deserve
sometimes I wonder what the fuck is wrong with you people and then I realize I don’t care
My thoughts are Baracks I cannot fathom into Obamas.
SO APPARENTLY WHEN TWO LARGE WHALES DO THE NASTY THERE’S SOMETIMES THIS ONE BRO WHO JUST SORT OF HOLDS THEM UP SO THEY DON’T FLOAT OFF
NATURE IS BEAUTIFUL
I like it when cats settle down and it looks like they don’t have any limbs
…and if you ever wondered what they look like from underneath when doing that:
I don’t understand why I’m laughing so hard
literally one of my favorite things ever
so its 2:17 am and my window is open and i burped really loudly and i heard someone yell “what the fuck”
Thug Kitchen by Dark Clinton
Prosecutors in the UK asked for a witness report from the officer PC Peach, not knowing that Peach is the name of a police dog from a West Midlands station. Officers jokingly filled in the form above but are now being disciplined for their actions.
so worth any disciplining. so worth it.
if oliver wood’s friends didn’t wake him up with a chorus of “morning wood” every day then